Christmas

I knew as soon as I read Melissas blog, I needed to write this; which I have been putting off for weeks. I was working on Christmas decorations & listening to Christmas music when that old familiar pain hit me. Noel was playing.....my favorite Christmas song & the one that easily brings tears to my eyes & at times sobs to my heart. Why does my favorite Christmas song do that to me? Not sure. Back in June of 1972 my mom died - a sudden & unexpected death. The kind that leaves you in a shock so deep you don't know if you'll ever recover. So, for whatever reason Noel brings all those memories & feelings back. Maybe it was playing on that Christmas morning of the year she died & I don't remember. That Christmas morning when I got up, the house felt empty & lonely & sad. Her presence was missed. I went into the kitchen & there was grandma....seemingly waiting for me. We didn't say a word, but just hugged & cried. Mom was really gone. Another reminder....that Christmas morning.
She always spoiled me rotten with gifts - her way of showing me how much she loved me. Her giggles & smiles at my happiness.
I still don't get the connection between the song Noel & mom's passing, but it stops me in my tracks every time. I miss my mom, I know she lives, waits for the day I join her. What a joyous reunion that will be! I'm very blessed to have her as my mom, that I have no doubt. To God, I give thanks for blessing me with the sure knowledge that she does live & is still a part of my life. Lesson learned...every moment is precious.